Dec 25, 2015
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a Kardashian was stirring, so I ironed my blouse;
The Louie Vuitton stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the ex-wife's money soon would be there;
No children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of my new bum danced in my head;
And mamma, who used to be pappa, in her 'flannels, and I in my teddy,
Had just heard an anthem by the great Helen Reddy,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see it was #blacklivesmatter.
Then yay through the window the police lights did flash,
Their gunshots did stutter and lead balls did smash.
The dead on the breast of the artificial snow,
Gave a luster of ink stains to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a bunch of trans girls dressed as tiny rein-deer,
With chocolate from Godiva so creamy and think,
I knew in a moment they're here for this chick.
More vapid than valley girls these trans-whores they came,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called out their names:
"Now,Ashley! The dancer! now Nancy and Vixen!
I'll vomit with,Lucy and Donna and Christen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now party, girls ! party girls! Party girls all!"
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When we meet with an obstacle, we'll trick the next guy;
So up to my front door the trans-whores they flew
With the sleigh full of toys, and Dame Edna too—
And then, in a twinkling, we climbed to the roof
For prancing and pawing with each little poof.
With my weave on my head, I was turning around,
Down the chimney Kanye came with a bound.
He was dressed in white fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were Armani, Laura Ashley and Sprout;
His big-booty wife he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Kriss Kross, wiggity-wiggity-whack.
His eyes—behind wayfarers! his thick lips, how yummy!
My cheeks were like roses, my nose twitching funny!
His droll big mouth won't shut up when on a roll,
And the beard on his chin was as black as coal;
He was just so dumb with a tight washboard belly
My implants shook when I laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
Kim was chubby and plump, a God-awful old elf,
And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself;
Distance in her eye and nothing in her head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
We spoke not a word, and I went straight to my work,
Upstairs to my T-girls; for our Christmas circle jerk,
And laying my finger aside of my nose,
And giving a nod, up our girlcocks they rose;
We swear we're not gay, to hot chicks we still whistle,
And our loads they all blew like the Patriot missle.
Then they heard me exclaim, ere I stumbled out of sight—
“One out of 8 and half trans teens won't survive the night!”